pathetic.....this is what I feel right now. stuck in the place not belong to me, do the same boring job eveyday.

I want to have some changings, change my job, change where I live, meet some new friends, do things I've never done before.

I want people look at my eyes when they talk to me. I want people think of me when they have any gathering.

 

Every night, I dream that I was not me. I was another pretty, confident, talkative, smark girl who live in Japan or Korean,somewhere not in Hong Kong. I didn't have parents , but I did have a big brother who raised up me or loved me a lot.

I liked singing, hated sports, had a lot of friends. Everybody liked me.

I had my dream and I worked very hard to make it real.

And this is totally the opposite of what I am now.

Suddenly, I remember one thing that's really bothering me.  唉~~~small Yuen is one of my best friends, and sometimes, I do think she hates me a lot. Couple of weeks ago, I invited Bra, Dee, small Yuen and my beauty teacher to my beauty class. Bra was really nice to me, even though she knew I was not the best beauty consultant, but she did highly respect me.

On that day, I was nervous. Bra and I arrived quite early. Then we waited for Dee and small Yuen. On the phone, small Yuen said they were AT the Mok Kok Center, I told her how to go to where we were From Mok Kok Center. small Yuen didn't understand me. Finally, they found the place. And small Yuen kept complaining about it.

And we found that they were not AT Mok Kok Center. Then she should say they were near Mok Kok Center instend of saying they were At Mok Kok Center.

And look at her eyes , she really looks down upon me.

I was really upseted about it because I can remember when she was working in an insurance company, I didn't turn my nose up at her, so why are you doing this to me??? If you really think "beauty consultant" is not a proper job, you shouldn't have come to my beauty class at first, especially, to your close friends, you should at least, show some respect. I derserve a little more respect.

"Beauty Consultant" is only my part time job, if I don't do it , I wouldn't die. I wouldn't lie and do anything bad because of my part time job. As a close friend, I thought you should know me, at least, pretend you are.

The reason of being a "beauty consultant" is it does inspiring me, building me to be a more confident person.Perheps because the company is hold by christian and most of the beauty consulant are christian too.

After three days trip going to China with church friends for a mission, I am still on my New Year Holiday. Usually, I would spend my whole holiday on computer games, but this time, I went to China for mission. I have learnt something I can never learn and see in Hong Kong. Thanks God for letting me such a small person to see and feel his love, his mission, his power and even letting me be part of his mission.

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Yuen's Brithday was pasted a mouth but we celebrated it yesterday as Yuen was too busy. We had dinner in one of the restaurant in Prince Edware. The food was good. We talked we laughed we had good time. Yuen had mentioned  a story about having one thousand dollar which was very funny.I told Bra this story she can't help laughing. We had mentioned something about marriage. I have been thinking about that question if I will ever get marry? What if I will never find my Mr right? Will I be very sad? I don't know. And suddenly, I realize I am only a passenger, one day, I will go back to God's arm. And all questions will not be a questions anyomre. What I need to do is having faith in God.

I know what people think about Open University.It's the worst university in Hong Kong. And even myself, I have never ever imagined that I would be one of the students. Now I am. I hate that question----what university are you in? I hate that silence after the answer comes out from my mouth.

There is an old question, you would rather be the best of the worst or the worst of the best?

If I didn't apply the university, I would be the best of the worst.
But now, I am the worst of the best. I don't feel good.